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Hampton Hospital

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[16 Apr 2005|11:07am]

________electro
i don't have borderline personality disorder.
i am borderline personality disorder.

i want to go back to the hospital. i miss being institutionalized. i miss being observed. i miss medication time. i miss smoke breaks. i miss inappropriate conduct with other patients. i miss dr. malspina's shiny bald head and shifty eyes. i miss packets of low fat italian salad dressing. i miss vitals at 7am every morning. i miss visiting hours. i miss heroin addicts. i miss boring group therapy sessions. i miss cafeteria oatmeal. i miss being far away from anyone that could hurt me, including myself. i miss being switched from unit to unit because they don't know where i belong. i miss schizophrenics. i miss making out with poor crazy jade in my bedroom. i miss crushing and snorting librium and xanax on the bathroom mirror. i miss the sharps closet. i miss the courtyard.

they should lock me away forever. i don't belong out here. i don't contribute to society. i'm about to collect taxpayers' hard-earned dollars because i'm too fucked up to get or keep a real job. i'm a nuisance to the sane world. i can only take take take and give nothing back. please put me away for a few more days. please pump me so full of meds i can't walk straight. please lock me behind a door with a sign that reads "beware -- high elopement risk." i promise i'll never elope. i like it here.
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meds and weight gain [18 Mar 2005|08:00pm]

aero_____plane
i was recently discharged from hampton hospital after a suicide attempt. i've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with a possible bipolar disorder as well. my doctor put me on effexor, geodon, and trazodone. i'm recovering from an eating disorder (anorexia - no purging) and, as you can imagine, maintaining a low weight is very important to me. i've been reading up on my meds and i've found some people who've gained weight from various medications, particularly bipolar meds. when i first started taking effexor i lost a few pounds due to decreased appetite, but after reading some reports of weight gain on effexor i'm getting worried.

my doctor was going to put me on zyprexa without even warning me about the severe weight gain that medication has been known to cause, but luckily i talked to some people before starting it and he put me on seroquel instead. then i read about seroquel and decided to switch to geodon. i'm getting very frustrated!

has anyone here gained weight on effexor, geodon, or trazodone? can the weight gain be attributed to increased appetite alone -- i mean, if i don't eat more than usual, will i stay at 102lbs? or do the meds mess with metabolism? is there a better alternative antipsychotic or antidepressant i could take, maybe something that will decrease my appetite or cause weight loss?

any help would be greatly appreciated. i'm going crazy with worry.

on a positive note, though, the BPD diagnosis has made everything clear for me. i've been reading i hate you -- don't leave me and suddenly i have words to explain the thoughts and feelings i've been experiencing all my life. i've asked my mom to buy a copy of that book so she can understand why i've been treating her the way i do, why i say the things i say -- why i do everything, honestly. i'm a textbook case, i swear it. i used to think that everyone felt the way i do. now i understand why no one ever understood me.

oh, also:

name: marcia
gender: female
were you in hampton yourself? yes
if so, what for? suicide attempt
outpatient or inpatient? both
how long was your stay? i stayed in the hospital for ten days. currently i'm still in outpatient program.
did you get the help you needed? i suppose
did the staff/treatment have any effect on you? some members of the staff were wonderful (brian, sue, pam) but some were incredibly mean-spirited. i found the group therapy sessions rather dull, especially in the outpatient program, though i did open up a bit towards the end.
do you still communicate with patients? yes. well, i see some of my friends from the dual and adult psych units at lunch, though as you know i'm not supposed to speak to them. my friend christina was discharged the day before me and we communicate through email and the telephone.
do you want to reunite with anyone you left behind? yes... there were a couple of very special boys i'd like to meet up with. one of them in still there and i believe the other was discharged. they have my number -- i do hope they use it.
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[22 Jun 2004|07:01pm]

eyesnailedshut
Name: Dana
Gender: Female
Were you in Hampton yourself: Yup
If so, what for?: Suicide attempts, depression, homocidal threats, anger problems
Were you an out patient or an inpatient?: Inpatient
How long was your stay?: April 8th - 13th, 2004
Did you get the help you needed?: Nope.
Did the staff/treatment have any effect on you?: It made me worse
Do you still communicate with patients?: Nope.
Do you want to reunite with anyone who you left behind?: Maybe
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[25 May 2004|09:03am]
allypurrs
Name: Alex Oliver

Gender: Female

Are you just a supporter?: Nope

Were you in Hampton yourself: Yes

If so, what for?: Anger and Self - Mutilation

Were you an out patient or an inpatient?: Inpatient

How long was your stay?: May 23 - 29, 2003

Did you get the help you needed?: For the time being

Did the staff/treatment have any effect on you?: I met really

great people... they changed my life forever and taught me California

High ;]


Do you still communicate with patients?: Of course, Emily, Joey,

and Deanna. Steve turned into a dick so - not him


Do you want to reunite with anyone who you left behind?: Josh,

Sarah, and Kashmir. ;\ I miss you guys.
1 comment|post comment

[14 May 2004|06:17pm]

dilz
[ mood | blank ]

Name:Dylan
Gender:Male
Are you just a supporter?:Yes
If so, who are you supporting?:Emily :D
Were you in Hampton yourself:no

3 comments|post comment

[09 May 2004|11:52am]
laur_star__x
Name: Lauren
Gender: F
Are you just a supporter?: Yes
If so, who are you supporting?: sister, cousin, emily <3
Were you in Hampton yourself: no.
1 comment|post comment

[07 May 2004|06:38pm]
__sicklullaby
[ mood | accomplished ]

Hello, I am your Maintainer, I just started this community, since it is almost a year now that I've been in Hampton myself.

Name: Emily Ramirez

Gender: Female

Are you just a supporter?: I have had friends who were in Hampton, and I do support them.

If so, who are you supporting?: All the friends I made at my stay, Alex L, and Chelsey B. who were there at different times then I.

Were you in Hampton yourself: Yes, I was. About a year ago.

If so, what for?: I went there at the time for depression, suicide attempts, and self-mutilation. I also had care for anorexia.

Were you an out patient or an inpatient?: I was both.

How long was your stay?: All together, I would say about a month and a couple of weeks.

Did you get the help you needed?: I suppose so, however it really hasn't changed me much.

Did the staff/treatment have any effect on you?: Yes, I LOVED Dr. Tridge, and Niki. Mark will be missed, I wonder how he is doing now, and if he is still in jail.

Do you still communicate with patients?: Yes, I do.

Do you want to reunite with anyone who you left behind?: Sarah Diaz, and Josh Eugoyle (spell check on Josh's last name).

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